Busy Momma

It’s my anniversary and I’ll turn into the guy if I want to, the guy if I want to, I will forget if I want toooooooo.  OMG, why did I think he was working today?  I had it in my head that he was working.  We never do anything on our anniversary, but I atleast get him a card.

Typically we go off to Leavenworth for the weekend.  But this year we are trying to get to Mexico in Oct. so money is going that way.  And this weekend we are taking the kids to the mountains for the weekend.  But I didn’t even get him a card.  I can’t believe it.  He worked the day before and I’ve been busy and he knows it.  I got home from work after 8pm and there were 2 dozen pink roses and a beautiful card sitting in my clean kitchen.

Worked hard at pushing the tears back.  What a sweetie!  I honestly, never get flowers and was blown away.  But the card was exactly what I needed.  He has to work, but I will pay him back with something much better than a card and free.  ;)  LMAO

If your child is human or furry, I’ve got sucker written across my forehead.  I’m sitting here steaming because everyone around me seems to be ok with just dropping off either with no thought.  I’m just not going to go in to detail because I don’t want to.  It doesn’t matter in the whole scheme of things.  I just need to vent that I have sucker written across my head.

Everyone knows that I won’t turn down a kid that needs a place to stay and obviously now I won’t turn down a certain furry child either that just got left behind.  I need to get frustrated enough with myself to do something.  But in this aspect I know that I probably never will.  Like I told the certain person tonight, it’s not the childs fault.  ROFLMAO

K, I’m working really hard at keeping with the positive.  But everyone in my life needs to back the fuck off.  Yes I know I am the one that listens to EVERYONE’s problems.  I understand I put myself in that position and I’m ok with it.  I don’t mind it.  But sometimes all the give I do needs to be replaced with taking.  It’s my turn for the drama and everyone needs to figure that out.  I can’t take anymore of yours!  It must be all about me right now!

K, I’m feeling a little better already.  But alas, I need to have a major conversation and there is just never a good time for one of those.  :(  Hubby and I need to get to talking or it’s going to keep getting worse.  We can’t fix things if he doesn’t even know they are a problem.  I need a girls night really bad, a get drunk, cry and trash on everyone, girls night.  But if I do that I may be giving up the only evening I could have a real conversation with hubby.

Neighbor girl is spending the night tonight so that doesn’t leave much room for an indepth conversation.  Why do I make this so hard on myself?  Why do I wait until I’m going to explode before I even think that anything that is bothering me is worth telling people?  I’m sure I’ll do what I always do.  I’ll bitch a little here and there, laugh and make jokes about it, then go another 3 months before I get to the point I want to move out.   UGH

Well I’ve talked about the “friends” myspace affair that broke up her marriage.  our kids are super good friends and this is posing a really big problem.  It’s not fair to the kids that I can’t trust her enough to have my kids.  Prior to this if they wanted to spend the week with each other, it would be sure, when can I drop you off.  lol  But now there is just this barrier, that I know I have good reason for, that has me not knowing what to do.

Daughters friend is having a slumber party tonight at her Mom’s house so everyone can see where she lives and just cause she hasn’t had one since this all happened.  Of course the immediate answer was no.  I’ve told her that she can’t stay down there.  But then we talked and I guess this boyfriend is never there since he lives in the Minnesota, not exactly dropping by here unannounced.  But yet that is still my worry.  He knows where she lives, he knows she has kids and he would know that she is having a slumber party tonight.  Perfect time for some creepy myspace dude to go bezerk right?  UGH, talk me down.  lol  The what-if’s can drive you nuts.

So hubby and I decided that as long as the boyfriend is going to be there and there will be a group of girls, then we are going to be ok with it.  I still hate it out of principal, but it’s really not fair to the girls.

My daughter looked like she wanted to argue about all of it, of course, cause she wanted to go.  But I just told her why I am so worried about it.  That would she have a friend of hers watch our puppies if her friend had lied about everything for 6-9 months?  She said no and you could tell she got it then.  Cause I told her she was much more important than a puppy so she needs to understand that it’s going to take a while for her to build our trust back up.  I’m very happy that we’ve raised our kids so well.  We can talk to them about things such as this and they really do get it.  I’m not saying we don’t have the major irrational hormone blow ups that are bound to only get worse, but there is a good conversation that flows when needed.

I am honestly tired of my negativity on here, but it’s my outlet.  I’m having a girl’s night on Sat. and I can’t wait.  This has been a really long week and there is still 1 1/2 days left.  By Tuesday afternoon I was ready for a do-over.  I need to go back through the week and make some posts of things that have happened and come up.  A lot of tween stuff has hit at once and still hasn’t been dealt with.

I am hoping that my having the girls night and someone to vent with will help me a lot.  I do need a girlfriend.  My marriage is changing, for the better and worse, but I can not rely on him being my only outlet and shoulder anymore.  It’s impossible, he is at work and that is that.  I need to have my girl to call that will ask if she needs to come over and kick some ass for me.  lol  I’ve forgotten how much girlfriends are needed.

Oh boy, did you read my last long post about the drama unfolding with everyone’s relationships around me?  Well I got more news about my “friend” that has been cheating on her husband.  He came to pick up the kids on Friday night and spilled the story.  UGH, it makes me want to puke.

So it’s been going on since about July I guess.  Hmm, right around the same time her new weight loss kick hit.  I believe that is #4 or 5 in the cheaters 101 handbook.  lmao   She’s been following the handbook really well.

But anyway, she met this guy online.  On myspace to be exact.  PUKE!  He lives in like Minnesota or something like that.  He does have a family.  Is this not disgusting?  How old are you two?

She has left him with no money in their accounts.  Money that was supposed to be going to bills was going to all sorts of things.  He canceled his debit card when she took her trip to her friends house in Texas and got a print out of the charges on it at the same time.  Rental cars, meals, and delta airlines.  You can guess that the charges weren’t in Texas right?

So now he has no money for gas to get to his work, the cable was turned off last week and the power is dangerously close.  It’s bad enough to fund your affair with your husbands money, but now you are taking that money from your kids you fucking idiot!  She is so damn selfish.

Needless to say I’m very thankful I didn’t have my kids go down to her house last weekend when it came to our attention.  Who knows who this freak is.  I already told the kids that they will never go to her house and it’s because she met this stranger online and we have no idea when he will be at her house.

I have no idea how I can look at her tomorrow morning when she drops off the kids.  :(  I am so pissed at her for hurting her husband this way and putting her kids through this.  Why is it so hard to end your marriage before you go get a boyfriend?  OH I know why.  Cause you needed someone to support your fat ASS!  Ohhh, I’m so angry with her!  But good riddance for him.  I even told him that.  lol  I will totally be taking sides as I can not be associated with someone that is that low of ethics and morals.

Well relationships are falling apart all around me.  We are in a good spot though, so i guess I can deal with everyone else’s crap.  Our best friends just broke up, or did they, yes, no, yes, no, back to yes again.  They are so pitiful and they know it.  lol  They love each other but the long distance is so not working.  She just came and spent the night with us (whole other story, lmao) and of course he had to come over and get his dog.  I didn’t know how they would do.  But all we can do is see.

Then hubby’s best friend is finally ready to get divorced.  They’ve been together for 20 years I think and married for 14 or 15.  He never should have married her and we all told him so.  And we DON’T give advice like that cause it’s hurtful.  So he’s awake and done with his relationship.  She’s moved out…to the extra bedroom!  See all the drama?  Oh wait, it’s gonna get better!

Third couple in our life.  This one will be the long one because it has a moral to the story.  Our kids have been friends since the girls were in Kindergarten.  The boys are the same age and are best friends, so of course this is an ideal friendship for all of us.  Everyone gets along well and we can swap kids back and forth at will.  lol  Well she went on an extended vacation to a friends house and I thought this was weird cause she never goes anywhere.  But whatever.  It got more weird when she called me and said “I told you I wouldn’t be home until blah, blah, right?”  Umm, no, but we can work around that, I’ll figure out what to do with the kids in the morning.

So we do end back up swapping the kids in the morning for the carpools to school and she comes out and asks if we can hook up for coffee or lunch cause she wants to talk to me.  She then proceeds to cryptically say that things are going to change some and she wants to talk about it.  Well in my book that means two things.  Divorce or new baby.  Since none of us can have more kids I pretty much assumed it was the first one.   But we didn’t hook up that day and then Thanksgiving happened.

Well the divorce was confirmed last night.  The kids wanted to get together, so hubby dropped them off over there.  Half the furniture was gone and it was just the hubby making a big dinner for all his family to come over.  Cool, we know the kids will have fun and we love him to death.  Within 1/2 hour I get a text from my daughter saying that the Mom had moved out and they are getting divorced, but no one’s supposed to know yet.  We text back and forth because I’m just worried how the kids are taking it and she says they are doing ok with it right now.

Then my cell rings at 10:45.  We crashed early so I’m in a super good sleep.  Good enough that I don’t really notice it ringing in real life.  lol  When I got the second call back to back, I woke up and it was my daughter.  The Mom was coming to pick up the kids because some not so nice things were said in front of the kids about her, blah, blah, blah, she’s such fucking drama.  I didn’t even get the same story from the kids that she said, she just wants to be the center of the damn world.

Anyway, my daughter says I need to call the Mom.  UGH, it’s 11pm and I just woke up.  I have no brain cells to deal with this shit yet!  But of course I call immediately and I get the lowdown.  Would have loved to get it over coffee IN DAYLIGHT!  She’s moved in with a guy and they are getting divorced.  She tried to do the typical dig out of the marriage has been over for a while and she knows this wasn’t the right way to go about it, blah, blah whatever.  But he’s great and she’s going to go pick up the kids, but wanted to make sure it was ok with me.  yeah, sure, whatever, I AM NOT AWAKE YET!

I get off the phone and my brain finally clicks in.  Umm, I haven’t met this guy.  I have no idea where they live.  And I’m going to let her take the kids.  Besides the fact that when I get up in the morning I KNOW I’m going to be seriously pissed of that I let the kids go down there to two cheaters.  Ok, see, I woke up.  I called her back and told her I wasn’t comfortable with it all.  That I’m not choosing sides or anything and we can hook up and talk, but that I just don’t feel comfortable.

Go get dressed, drive to pick up kids.  She shows up right after I got the kids in my car.  She looked totally pissed and didn’t even wave in my direction.  I’m so glad I did the right thing and picked them up.  I don’t want them around the argueing either.  Especially when I have never agreed with the way she treated him to begin with.  Then to cheat on him too.  How do I end this without the kids having to lose their friends?  I just can’t be around someone with such low morals that they can’t end their marriage before the start a relationship.  I consider her a coward and I’ve always known she was selfish.  But this takes the cake.  Anyone gone through this and can give me some pointers?

See, told ya it was going to be long!  And this is just their relationship.  I could post forever about the second couple I referred to.

I know most are dieing for an update.  I hate to disappoint you, but we are still together and happier than ever.  I know this is tremendously annoying and I’m sorry it’s beyond my control.  He was meant to be my “soul mate” BLEH.  roflmao  Yeah, he honestly is, I just hate to put it that way.

I’d prefer to put it that I married my BFF.  This causes problems everywhere.  My good friend, that get’s it, told me so in the last few weeks.  They just hit a horrible break up that makes me cry as they are both our good friends and we wish it could work.  But anyway, I told her most relationships don’t work because you can’t have best girlfriends and a husband you are dedicated to wholy.  After 17 years of  being together, yes I can honestly say I’m an expert in this field.  I tried to do both and it doesn’t work even though my two BF’s are dedicated to their men as well.

I am over that now.  I’m ready to admit that I want his friendship at all costs.  Want to hear cheesy?  He know’s me better than anyone else on the planet and that is honestly not that much.  I don’t like that about myself, but there is nothing I can do about the fact that very few ask about me.

Umm, this is a positive post.  So never mind any of the negative!

It’s so hard this time of year.  There are many negative vibes about right now.  Our first was born in July, so I was still post-pardem when he was hunting that year.  But honestly, I knew that was my problem.  I knew that was why I cried.

I feel that is why I cry each year he does go.  He hasn’t gone for many years, but I think it brings it back up.  It’s something I need to bring up so he understands, cause he does.  I’ve married a man, every one dreams of and I do know and appreciate that.  I don’t take it for granted anymore than he does that I am what every man wishes he could be married to.  I know that I am not girly and I don’t think girly.  I know that he is lucky that I don’t overload him with emotions.  He’s as lucky as I am and I think we both know it.  But if not, I’ll remind him here in a few hours.  lol  Sucks that he fell in love with a night-owl huh?

K, not much was resolved, but it’s all better.  Now we just need a date night so we can hash some of this out while we are both with open minds and not angry.  If I don’t then it will be even worse the next time this all blows up.  We did talk about a few things like him shutting me out of any plans he’s made for his days and a couple of other things.  He says he’s told me some of them and he honestly may have.  But he needs to remember that my mind is not only on him and the kids anymore.  So depending on when he told me, I may not have heard him.  But I know one of the big one’s he did NOT tell me.

So I just wanted to send out a quick update that I’m no longer ready to jump ship.  lol