Busy Momma

Bitchy Friday, I haven’t posted here in a little while.  And guess what…?  It’s freaking friday!  HMMM, let me think of a bitch.

Oh wait, I was already coming here to bitch a little.  I was actually coming here to talk a little relationships, but bitchy friday came up at the top of the catagories.  lol

I will keep it quick.  We had it out on Christmas Eve.  Yes, cringe, holy shit that’s bad timing.  Umm, you can thank some good old whiskey for that timing, but whatever.  I was also pmsing at the time, so it ALLLLL flew out of my mouth.  But, the bitch is, now it’s all out and there has been no makeup sex.  hmmm, now I’m worried.  So yes, TMI for those that are friends, but you’ve already been warned that it might happen.  lol

Well I sit here up late, yet again.  That is not abnormal for me, but my feelings about it have been for months.  I’m lonely.  I’m also not the only firefighters spouse in the world.  I’m thinking a new blog may come from this.  It’s one I’ve actually looked at the domain for, so we’ll see.  I’m just trying really hard not to buy anymore domains and start anymore sites or blogs.  lol

But here is my problem.  My blogs are making me much more money than anything else at this time.  And the more productive my blogs are, the more help I can afford to hire to make my other sites work.  I know the sites will be where the true big money is at.

Oh look, I got totally off topic again.  What a surprise, NOT!

I’m lonely and it’s a hard thing to talk to hubby about.  We have friends that are breaking up because of cheating so my being lonely does not look good.  I know how his brain will wrap around it and I don’t like it.  So I’d prefer to start a blog about it and get response from others.  Something for the new year I guess.  Not going to do it tonight.  It’s late enough already.

I’ve never been single. I don’t do well single for very long. Yes, I hit the huge anniversary of being with my hubby 1/2 of my life, but it is so much more than that.

Just a disclaimer: I am not wishing things were different, they are what they happily are. But sometimes it is difficult that I haven’t experienced things.

I have never lived alone. I went from living with my parents to living with hubby. I go back and forth now that I can have all of them away at the same time. Mostly guilt comes in and I don’t get any sleep.

Loneliness sucks. I’ve never had the physical loneliness. I have had many a lonely night, but not from being alone too long. Just from shutting myself off emotionally.

Well I was ready to type more. But I am up alone at 3am and this is exactly what I’m talking about. I miss my HUBBY!!! 1 1/2 more weeks and we can get into a more normal groove. It’s spring break and the kids went to their friends house. I am up to get my hair done early tomorrow. So off to bed for me!