In fact today he took overtime, with my blessing, HELLO, good idea for time/half. But I am now depressed farther than ever and having asthma attack because of it. I should call and get treatment, but I never will. I took my inhaler and I’m making an appt for this week for the emotional issues. I’ll be ok, please don’t worry. This is just my outlet.

I texted hubby that I was emotionally done and looking forward to a nite like I’d told him last week. U don’t get to know those details. But I’ll make sure and tell him my heart hurts. I haven’t had emotion cause an asthma attack in a long while. They can fuck off for that. They aren’t worth me feeling like this and still hurting like I am. So I’ll move into pissed beyond belief here soon hopefully. It’ll probably take me crying on hubby’s shoulder first. I just need to cry and whine about it all to a human and not online.

But for now, I’m still hurt. I can’t help it. No matter how hard I fight it, I’m human. I have feelings and they have been torn apart this weekend after they were so raw and happily open from having fun with some of the same people that hurt me.

I do not believe much in coincidence.  I believe we bring into our lives what we reap and what we associate with.  Unfortunately, at this very moment I am worried about what our best friend may have brought into ours that I have no control over until the weekend is over.

Our best friend is screwing someone else’s wife.  I don’t care how “unhappy” she is in her marriage.  It started when he was married and she is still married.  It’s wrong, no way to mince it, IT IS WRONG!  You want to be with ANYONE ELSE, you end what you are in.  It takes one simple phone call.

My husband is out hunting right now with our best friend and low and behold, out in the middle of no where, they have run into the husband of said cheater.  Yes, it gets way more complicated if I go into detail.  The bitch has tried to get into my bed as well.  Lots of love flows there with me.  I drug her out of my bed (she pretended she was passed out drunk) by her hair down the hall.  Goodness, don’t we sound like trash?  Anyway, these were never very good friends and that’s beside the point cause we cut them out of our life.  But this other guy brought her deeper into his life.

Anyway, they ran into him and I’m 400 miles away tweaking out.  Then after that they ran into a guy that our friend thinks was doing his wife while he was still married.  I do not like these vibes.  I know it’s our fault for keeping him in our life, but he’s family after 20 years.  But now they are staying at our friends house and that means it’s been brought into their life.

Hubby will have to cut the ties.  I’ve never set my foot down about anything.  I know he will not disagree and thankfully he can blame me.  But this is the end, I will not put my family and friends in danger.  I am trying to calm down and that is hard to do.  There is nothing I can do this far away.  But the husband was not supposed to be that far north on his trip.  not even close to where he is supposed to be tomorrow for a convention.

I’m waiting for hubby to call me when his phone service will stay on.  He knows it’s serious cause I texted  him it’s important.  Good grief, I hate bad feelings!  I’ve never had people in my life this close act with this much immorality.  Come on! Have standards!  UGH, thanks for listening to my crap.

Poor hubby is working and that is a lot.  I can feel it.  My friend is dispatch and told me that they had a fatality this evening.  Not a good way to start the night.  But I’m so glad she is there to warn me so I can give extra hugs and love tomorrow when he needs it.

Daughters friend is having a slumber party tonight at her Mom’s house so everyone can see where she lives and just cause she hasn’t had one since this all happened.  Of course the immediate answer was no.  I’ve told her that she can’t stay down there.  But then we talked and I guess this boyfriend is never there since he lives in the Minnesota, not exactly dropping by here unannounced.  But yet that is still my worry.  He knows where she lives, he knows she has kids and he would know that she is having a slumber party tonight.  Perfect time for some creepy myspace dude to go bezerk right?  UGH, talk me down.  lol  The what-if’s can drive you nuts.

So hubby and I decided that as long as the boyfriend is going to be there and there will be a group of girls, then we are going to be ok with it.  I still hate it out of principal, but it’s really not fair to the girls.

My daughter looked like she wanted to argue about all of it, of course, cause she wanted to go.  But I just told her why I am so worried about it.  That would she have a friend of hers watch our puppies if her friend had lied about everything for 6-9 months?  She said no and you could tell she got it then.  Cause I told her she was much more important than a puppy so she needs to understand that it’s going to take a while for her to build our trust back up.  I’m very happy that we’ve raised our kids so well.  We can talk to them about things such as this and they really do get it.  I’m not saying we don’t have the major irrational hormone blow ups that are bound to only get worse, but there is a good conversation that flows when needed.