But it’s impossible to believe she’s hit 15. As a summer baby, it means she only has 2 years left before graduationg. BLEH, OMG, WOW, UGH, YAH lol We’re working on her getting a lot of college courses completed before graduation and she won’t get into drivers ed until Novemberish. We’re doing ok I think.

But with her bday and the week of her on vacation I’m in a fit of denial. My oldest is 15 at 1:26pm. I’m way too young to have a 15 year old, R U Kidding me?!!!

We have a fun evening planned just the 4 of us which will be expensive as hell and FUN AS HELL! I’ll try to remember to take pics, I’m horrible at that. Then we’ll have a family BBQ that my aunt and her hubby are in town to attend so they’ll bring their grandbabies My parents are coming up and bringing her laptop for sure. Can you imagine your grandparents giving you a laptop for your bday? I can’t and yes, I’m jealous. But, this is why we never moved away. My parents want to be and ARE the grandparents I never had. It’s very cool. My parents are there for way more than just stuff. My kids have a completely sick relationship with their grandparents that I can’t even relate to. One of so much joking and they know each other so well, definitely not what I grew up with.

Anyway, I’m excited for my daughters bday. I’m excited to plan her sweet 16 next year even though hubby has no idea what is necessary. lol I’m happy with what we got her and I can’t wait to take her on her family day

Whether getting home from work, running the kids to activities or getting to our own evening meetings, dinner can sure get in the way. It’s not easy to find a schedule on some nights that is perfect for everyone to eat, let alone a time to cook that meal.

I do enjoy cooking, it’s just that being such a busy mom I don’t have the time most nights or I’m too tired to enjoy it. Menu planning and once a week cooking have changed this.

Each week I take a few hours. I head to the grocery store with my pre-written shopping list and then get cooking my main dishes. I can enjoy cooking again and have found I love it even more. It feels great to have all the dinners cooked up and ready to go for later use.

I always toss a couple of the meals in the freezer for the end of the week. This way there’s a quick answer to, “What’s for dinner?” I keep the week’s meal list on the fridge and cross them off as we eat them. It also helps to let one kid pick which meal will be next. Less arguments about eating said meal.

Plan for the week and spend less time in the kitchen!

It’s because I have to think before I post anything. This blog gets quite a bit of traffic now. It’s easy for locals to find, it’s not like I’ve ever been hiding here. The blog name is my username on just about every forum and is my facebook page for goodness sake. But now I feel the need to be careful what I share.

A big thing is I don’t want the kids to be embarrassed. Not like I embarrass them everyday, but I mean truly embarrassed by someone reading something that is about them. My kids are a teen and tween, we are going through some major changes here. Things I’ve wanted to blog about so many times. But thankfully I haven’t. How pissed did I get when my Mom told the town everything about me growing up? Let alone if she’d blogged it to the whole fucking world? Yeah, I’m sensitive to how it could be read.

So alas, that means I have to censor some things and I’m just having a little bit of problem trying to do that since this blog was created so I don’t have to censor anything. I’ll work through it, it just could take me some time and toss me in a new direction here for a little bit. Maybe I need to do more movie reviews? Those are safe

My aunt, Mom and I were on the way home from a meeting (over 2 hour drive each way) and my aunt was talking about how she stays up really late now that she is retired. I brought up how I’m now taking the ambien so I can try to sleep earlier and stay asleep. My aunt was very unhappy I’m taking it and started in about all sorts of other things I needed to be doing. Habit forming stuff. Yes, I know that SOME of my sleep issues come from habits formed. But if I can stay up until 2 or 3am, get up at 6 and sometimes stay up or go back to bed for 1.5 hours and then do it again the next night? If I can do that for over 7 days and not crash? Someone is comparing apples to oranges. This leads me to why I don’t talk about my issues. Everyone has exactly what I am doing wrong and it’s my own fault. K, shut up…I already tuned you out and your mouth is still moving.

This leads me to the title of this post. I knew my Dad always had sleep issues. I’ve tried to pay attention and there is no rhyme or reason to it. But back a few years ago when I’d have a few days of barely any sleep, if I talked to my Dad, he would have had just about the same problem at the same time.

I was trying to explain this to my aunt when my Mom piped in. “You know your Grandma and Great-grandma were always night owls too?” WELL CRAP. I think I remember that Grandma was, but I never put it together. My very cool Great-grandma passed when I was younger so I wouldn’t know she was a night owl. That is 3 generations before me that are “night owls”.

In this day and age we like to label everything with a syndrome or disorder. We’ve moved those that don’t need as much sleep to a new category called “sleep issues”. Previously we just called them night owls.

I’ll be weaning off of the ambien. It doesn’t make me go to sleep but it is keeping me sleeping better through the night. However, I’ve been taking it for almost 2 months now and changed my sleep/wake pattern up drastically. If I don’t take the ambien I will not sleep before midnight and yes I’ll be up before 7am for sure. I’ve been thinking of only taking the ambien on nights that hubby is at work because I can easily stay up all night then.

I’m keeping an eye on everything and I will communicate this family history with my doc when I next meet with her. But I’m leaning towards the sleep not being an issue and I’m forcing something that my body doesn’t want to do naturally. Of course that is my expert and professional opinion. lol

But today was Spring cleaning. Yeah, you heard me right. It’s Feb. 21st and we are Spring cleaning. It’s in the 60’s and not a cloud in the sky. El Nino has been here all Winter and we never did get one. We had such high hopes when we hit the slopes on Nov. 15th. lol What a teaser that was!

I’ll take the kids up a couple more times just because we’ve already paid for it with our season passes. But I have a feeling we’ll be lucky to get 2 more weeks in unless some miracle of snow happens. Again, working on being ok with that.

But as I stood at my kitchen window watching my hubby mow the lawn for the first time of the season I was hit with thankfulness. He’s been home for 4 weeks on Wed. with his calf injury. He barely limped as he mowed the lawn. I’m so very thankful that the injury wasn’t worse and he can still go rock his job soon. I’m thankful he’s so healthy and so strong that the damage was so minimal even though it didn’t seem so at the time. Thankful that because of this he also healed so quickly.

Have you stopped and given thanks for something small in your life recently?

My ideal will be to find a coffee shop and steal away for a few hours by myself.

It’s a 8 hour minimum drive to get to our buddies house. He is going over as well and one of the kids may drive over with him. I have to say, I LOVE THIS IMMENSELY. Not because I’d be one kid down, but the fact that we have a friend that our kids will gladly jump in the truck with and drive 8 hours. Awww, that is family, that’s not just a friend. And he is too. My kids totally count him as another uncle and will text him out of the blue without us knowing. lol

I’m excited to go, but I also am in need of some time to myself. Some have read that hubby is home from work because of a ski injury. Home is not usually a problem as I’ve gotten used to that with his new profession. BUT, he’s home from work and sitting in the recliner on doc’s orders. He has to stay off it for 2 weeks and we are only into week 1.

So this also means he can’t go skiing on our ski vacation we planned for my and our son’s bday. So I’m excited to go. But I’m at this moment super excited about finding a little coffee and sandwich shop that has wifi and is friendly in the small town we are going to.

I know we’ll have a blast. It’s just been so much more work to get prepared and out of here! And the drive is just going to suck if I can’t get my zune to synch my tunes! arghhhh

My husband brought me up skiing at Crystal Mountain. I’ve only been on the slopes for the last 4 years I think, much less than my current 36 years. lol But he grew up going there and there is a seriously good code there. I hate to get into the fact that it’s more expensive to ski there, I truly do hate to get into that. BUT…

This is the first year we’re almost exclusively ski/boarding at Snoqualmie Pass because the price is the only thing we could afford. The difference is night and day on the slopes. Big time serious and if hubby wasn’t so good and easy going, they could be lifethreatening. He is constantly having to hurt himself to not hit stupid people and move fast. Not worth his slight injuries because he works his day job to save people. His daily life should not be spent as such having to think of others first so much.

So I’m hoping I can make enough money to pay for half our ski passes next year. It’s a big amount, a truly big amount. But it’s closer, it’s where he grew up skiing and it’s just an incredibly different vibe. Here’s to things some of you may not think about or just may not give a damn and I’m here to tell you that you’d better. I’ll get you and/or your kids passes banned quick. I’m done.

Staff wise, OMG, no difference. We LOVE the staff at Snoqualmie Pass. Truly, I think we like them better than the staff at Crystal. We’ve never made the bar or ski lift connection like we have at the Summit. So good and bad.

But we are talking about etiquette here. I’ll label it new money because that is all I have to use. But most lately, have smelled of new money. They are more worried about making more and letting their kids have more than they are about raising their kids right, with good ideals and good ethics. I grew up with many that were loaded and were awesome, so that is why I put this label on it.

This will begin a series on ski etiquette. Sorry if it bores you, but this is the top of my current list. It’s something I live at least weekly and the last weekend was HORRIBLE with little shits. I stopped skiing because I was ready to pop some kids heads off and I couldn’t find their parents around.

But we just got her progress report. She works more for her grades. BUT she also slacks more using it as an excuse. When she really puts it on her grades rock and most of the time it’s pure laziness and not caring that gets her grades lower. Most of the time the only thing that has her grades down is missing assignments and not making up tests to get a better grade on it. This is the problem with her D in science right now. It says she’s missing assignments.

Everything is online, everything. Unfortunately in 4 years I haven’t been able to keep the password to our parent account to save my life. WTF? I have a password book, but since it’s not emailed to me I lose it. I’ve gone in so many times that the middle school secretaries just laugh. We’re a small town anyway so they know me from the gym and community events. lol

But I asked her if she was going to go talk to her teacher and get her missing assignments or did I need to go in? She said he’ll just yell at her and tell her it’s online. Ok, well is it? She has her online code she can get into right now and print it off if needed. She said he thinks so but it’s not. Hmm, really? Cause everything switched to online her 6th grade year, there are no surprises, they put it right into the computer program. Anyway, we went back and forth and I said again, do you want me to go and get them?

Her final answer was well if you want to. NO, that is not an answer. I told her she had to make the decision, she was either going to talk to him and get the assignments or I needed to and she needed to make that choice. She says she will get them tomorrow.

During this time she kept harping on the fact that he was this and he was that. So it was a learning time. I told her that she needed to get over the fact that she wasn’t going to get along with all her teachers or even bosses down the road. I think this is a very vital tool that kids need to learn. There are many people that you won’t get along with but you know what? YOU HAVE TO WORK WITH THEM! It’s life and you don’t just get to ignore it and hope it goes well. It won’t in real life, it means you failed at your job if you can’t work it out.

So here’s a big cheers to taking life’s learning moments and making them work. WITHOUT blowing up. That’s the hard part. She pulls this shit when Dad is on shift. Yes, I realize it is because I don’t stick to my guns as much without his backup and I have to learn to be more assertive, but still dang it. lol

Mommy – I think of someone all snuggly. I picture that woman with the SUV that has the Mom Taxi bumper sticker on the back and runs around putting everyone else’s needs first. I was snuggly, but my kids are older, is that why I don’t think of myself as mommy anymore?

Momma – Ok, now I feel like I’m crap, but I know I’m not. I believe in balance. I run around loving my kids and moving them to places that they need to go, however, that is not top priority. My kids sometimes need to be taken to school functions or picked up from things by others; grandma or friends parents. Then understand that I have a life too, even though they don’t truly care right now about that. lol I know they will later when they are older.

So Mommy vs. Momma in my head. For some reason I have Mommy in my head as a negative. I picture it as the woman that drops everything for her kids and make no times for herself. I have no basis for this, it’s only the person I picture in my head. But as a Momma I have it pushed in my head that I am balanced. There is no backing for it except for the fact that I understand I do a lot for my kids and I am there for them. I have no basis at all on what the words mean to me. My Mom has always been Mom in my head and has been there all the time, all the time, ALL THE TIME! Homemade breads, fresh homemade cookies and always at my sporting events. I have no ‘complaints’ about the way I was raised. It was truly awesome how they were involved.

But there is more to being raised and how you are involved to how things turnout. lol I’ve dealt with hardships that no one else could help much with. I’ve been date raped, I’ve lost many loved one’s, but most of all, I’ve dealt with the fact that I do not need someone at my beck and call for them to appreciate me. I endured on my own AND then found my husband, even though that was at the awesome age of only 17.

I understand that at this time, if I was my kids I would want to be with my friends. I’m not sure my parents thought of that, but I know that it’s a lot of work and I love being with my friends still. In fact looking back the only thing I can remember is hearing how much they didn’t like my friends. I will not hold the fact that I want attention to keep them with me. Their relationships are not mine and only work to build there’s I hope, not to undermine at mine at all. No one can compete with the relationship I build with my kids except for me.

Please don’t hold it against me that I have a preconceived idea of Mommy vs. Momma. I can’t do anything about the idea in my head except for living from the experiences I have.

Are you a Mommy? Do you love being called Mommy? Or are you like me and a Momma? I’d love to hear from both sides as neither are wrong, it’s all a matter of wording!

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It’s the end of hte month and with homecoming dance, property taxes and some other things, money is tight until Friday. My trip to our First Nations annual meeting isn’t the one I’d hoped and planned.

We carpooled up with my Mom, bro and nephew. My Mom got a room with two beds and a pull-out couch so the kids and I stayed with her. Very cool or we would have done the trip all in one day instead of staying overnight.

BUT, my brother stayed in the room next to us and he’s just so fucking spoiled. It’s difficult to remember that he’s only 2 years younger than me. My Mom paid for his dinner and my nephew’s and not a single thank you. I’m sure she would have paid for ours also but that’s not her job. I’m 36 and can pay! lol

Then he called our room at least 5 times before 8:30am. He was bored and wanted to head home. Mom went down to have coffee in the lounge and let us sleep since she was up earlier than we were. I was honestly up just a bit after her because I give up trying to sleep once I’m awake, but the quiet rocked! I was writing articles and blog posts and loving it. I don’t FUCKING CARE that you are bored or hungry and stop calling to see if Mom is back at the room yet. Walk your morbidly obese ASS down the hall to the restaurant and ask her if she’s ready to go. I got up at 3:50am on Sat and I got daughter up at 4:10am to drive up and I’m not waking the kids up because YOU are bored and want to go home mother fucker. I also don’t care that you are hungry when there is a restaurant in the hotel and Mcdonald’s is a block down the street on the same side as the hotel!

The best thing about this is my kids feel the same way. We see my Mom baby my brother and nephew and none of us want to be like that. My daughter (14) actually said she would kick her kid out of the house way before that age. ROFLMAO, ok so we have an understanding in my family then My kids know that I and their Dad have moved back home a couple of times. We lived with my parents when my daughter was born and I’m totally thankful for them because it made for an awesome experience. But never having the motivation to move out? really? My kids and I are already planning next years trip up on our own. Where we will eat, what yummies we will bring, how we will sleep in and the fact we will rent movies and chill like idiots in our room that we paid good money for. I LOVE MY BABIES!