Friends Can Hurt

I’m posting this in the healing section because this post stems from a long history of hurt. I guess I could start posting some of the old here and it would help bring some clarity to why it’s all part of my healing.

I can’t possibly get everything into this one post, but my feelings are hurt beyond belief and I’m not sure anyone in my life will even ever hear of it. Will it change anything if I do say something? Do I say something to hubby and then he passes on the info and then I may end up “that” wife?

We had a great morning. I went off to work, kicked a clients bootie and then came home to pick up hubby (who was doing dishes btw) and we went to do a 5k charity run for the fallen officers in Lakewood. Then went off to Applebee’s with our friends we ran with. They were giving 15% of purchases to the officers funds as well. We had a GREAT time, so much fun chatting and laughing. Everyone was talking about what they are doing tonight and doing the “well let you know when we’ve decided” thing. But one friend said she was going out with friends Christmas shopping in Seattle.

I don’t ever think anything of that because she has a big group of friends from college and they do a lot together. But then an hour later it hit me that another one of the wives had posted something about going to Seattle tonight and I’d assumed she was going with hubby. I’d even mentioned it before we did the fun run and told her to have fun. Then it dawned on me that another one of the girlfriends had put her nutcracker tickets for tonight up for sale. Pattern? Yeah, duh. So I went to FB which is the real culprit and sure enough 2 of them had hid like on the meeting with friends tonight for shopping and drinks.

I’m hurt. I’m very, very hurt. I’ve been here so many times. I end up being a friend that everyone loves to be around and everyone forgets to invites or ASSUMES that someone else told/invited.

The history behind my not being invited goes so far back it’s not even funny. The amazing thing is I was just talking to one of the other wives about it at brunch. I don’t think she was going with them tonight, but if so the story would make her feel real bad. Plus, I’m kind of hoping the other wife heard it. The three of us were sitting close and we let the guys sit together to chat. I don’t know how any conversations could be missed. You would think at 36 I would be used to being forgotten. But alas, this is hitting me harder than ever. I thought I’d built some real relationships and didn’t have to worry about this anymore. Now I’m realizing yet again that I have not. I’m really fucking hurt.

I will end up telling hubby about it tonight I’m sure. There’s no way around it. He’s my best friend and this just hurts. Yes, it will piss him off and I actually think he may say something to some of the guys which is embarrassing, but damn it at this point I’m really not caring. They need to realize that they hurt my feelings and I would never say myself. If you aren’t going to invite someone in the group then don’t talk about it on facebook. FUCK