Relationship Regrets

I am working really hard on a no regrets live. It’s not easy, but having to make the best decision at the time is all we can do. Thankfully, I do have others in my life to remind me of why that was the decision at times.

But I am helping to clean out my Grandma’s MIL apartment and all the sudden it snapped in my head. Yes, i know it should have sooner, but truly I’ve been brainwashed to other thoughts. In the last 3 years I have worked hard at growing my adult relatiionships with my mother’s sisters. Why would it be any different on my father’s side? Why did it take this long to hit me? I’m a little sad it took this long, but I will be just fine about it, truly.

My worry is the fact that I let someone else’s experience taint mine. My other worry is the fact that I understand that my mom had no right to tell me some things and taint my relationship. Truly, somes things were not mine so why were they shared? I can not even decipher why stuff was shared, I work hard at not doing the same. My kids had a great relationship with my grandma because I did NOT share info. I decided that their relationship was there relationship and their memories. Boy am I glad I decided to stick with that. They have great memories of going with grandma and my dad. lol

Sorrowfully, i do not. My good memories are overshadowed by things I was told. That’s not right. Period, it’s not right.

Tomorrow I will go out to my Aunt’s house to grab more things if they are there. Our friend has a new house that needs many items. But the main thing is that it clicked in my head that I never thought of the fact that the truth may be different on this side of the family as well. I did on her side, but of course, maybe my dad’s side was messed up in her twisted head as well.

Even if it’s not twisted, I have made my choices. I won’t live for others. I really do love having my aunt’s in my life, if I could add another one it would be all the better. This one lives very close and our husbands were very close at one point. I actually had worked hard at letting hubby keep his relationship because they were such good friends. But alas, it just can’t work well. lol

So wish me luck. I’m going to be a big girl tomorrow and talk to my relatives about it. All without alcohol! YIKES, rofl