Holiday Blues

Posted by queen of all on December 18, 2007

Well it just went back to last years post after the holidays and it’s got to be just me.  I am so bummed out and not even wanting Christmas this year.  I’m trying hard because I know it rubs off on the kids.  But I’m just so broke.  Last year at this time we were both going into the transition of new jobs and I was just leaving the gym that I worked way too many hours for little pay.  But the good thing about that gym was I had a steady income.  In a way I miss that, but there is no way I can be at work worrying about my kids being home.  I can’t put those kind of hours in.

So I’m bummed because I have no money for going out and buying presents.  At least none of my own money like I’d hoped.  Now that we have separated the money I fell guilty when I spend it from the joint account that is primarily his account.  But for almost 16 years, this has been ok.  Why now all of a sudden do I have guilt when I spend money from it?  Something I need to deal with obviously.

I’m hoping to get some chex mex made up and make a list of things that need to be done.  Christmas is exactly a week away and I don’t feel even close to ready for it.  Although our tree looks gorgeous!