Here’s the vent
July 5, 2007 by queen of all
Filed under general, relationships
Sigh, you knew it was coming. So don’t read if you don’t want to, I labeled it for you to skip over. lol
It’s a friends post of course, cause most vents are. Or I should say a lack of friends? No maybe a my friends suck? Hmm, I pick “C”, all of the above.
I need some local friends, that is the truth. But how does one go about getting friends that don’t suck? How do you find other girls that aren’t drama queen’s? That have to get all dressed up before they go out? Now don’t get me wrong, I’d like to dress up now and again, but I’m a shorts and sandal’s kinda girl. Doesn’t take me long and my hair almost always ends up in a damn ponytail by the end of the night, so why not start there most nights? lol K, that’s the plea for friends part of the post. Nuff said, I know this is most women’s problem. Finding people that they don’t feel are just telling their secrets behind their backs to everyone.
My supposed BF and I have been BFF for well over 20 years now. Acutally it’s quite close to 30 years. I’m not going to go through all the ups and downs of any good relationship because I’m sure you can imagine them. We’ve survived most marriages in this country, there has to be some major upsets along the way. Well we’ve hit another major one and I don’t know if I’ll get past it this time. My feelings are so hurt and that doesn’t usually happen. I’m a tough girl, but you can only walk on me so much.
Many moons ago when the oldest was a baby, our group of friends all went to vegas. That is, all the girls went to vegas for a girls weekend. I found out about it the week before by accident at our friends nursing school graduation. Can you imagine how hurt I was? Here I am 23 with a 1 year old and they are planning their trip all around me. Hi, I realize I became invisible about 15 minutes ago, but I’m still here. Yes I have a kid now, but does it hurt to ask if I can afford to go? BTW, yes I could have, they got a super deal and planned it out for months. Could have paid it off quickly.
So years later I finally got over it and needless to say we don’t hang with any of them anymore. Boy, they were good friends weren’t they?
I knew my BFF was going on a cruise soon, she had let it slip about a month before. I assumed that it was her and hubby going. Wouldn’t you? lol When she gets back she calls to chat (we don’t talk all that much anymore) and tell me how much fun she had. Low and behold it was her and 11 other girlfriends that went. WTF? WTF? WTF? WTF? WAHHHHHH, it’s happening again, only with someone that should know just how much that would hurt me. Oblivious of course. I just listen to it all and act my usual self. World’s best doormat I am. 
But I do believe that was an ending to something. Maybe I was waiting for this sign to finally split it off. This is most definitely not the first problem over the last few years, not by far. Again, I wont’ go into detail here with all of it. But they are biggies. I always let the piddly stuff slide, I don’t have time for that crap.
Am I off base by being so upset? The whole thing cost her $700 with the cruise and airfare. Yes I could have come up with that over a few months.
Done with the downer, I feel a little bit better for posting, but it’s not resolved by any means.
Rebekah on Thu, 12th Jul 2007 9:50 pm
Love that you can vent freely. It is this reason why I love to blog!
You have been tagged. I hope too many others have not tagged you also and I hope you play along!
queen of all on Sat, 14th Jul 2007 7:15 am
Cool, thanks for the tag! I was tagged for this already but it was for one of my biz blogs. Since this is my personal blog it will be much more fun! tee-hee
Hope you check back to hear what I have to say about the world.
Anita on Thu, 19th Jul 2007 6:32 pm
Oh honey do I know EXACTLY how you feel! I have not had friends of the female breed for almost 10 years now. My last supposed true best friend actually had my husband put in jail! Can you believe it?? I mean she completely and totally bold faced lied. It’s a long story and I won’t go into it right now but she got pissed off at him because he and I were arguing. Well, she literally made up an off the wall crazy story. Which in turn made the police pick my husband up – against my proof! So, of course he was released immediately after they found out she was full of … But still, what kind of supposed best friend gets your husband put in jail? I mean yes, we had a disagreement but NOTHING that would mean I would want him in jail! NOTHING even close – we were newlyweds!
Anyway, I do have a couple of female friends that I talk to once in while but I’ll never consider another female as a “best friend”. My best friend is my husband and I’m fine with that. The other two are pretty close to me and we even went on vacation together – with their spouses. But I don’t think I’ll ever look for something like that again.
I said my husband was my best friend but, I do actually have a few more. My husband, my daughter, my mom and my mother-in-law.
It’s funny too because my MIL doesn’t get along wtih other women either. We both agree that we are bitches (women in general) and you just can’t trust us, lol! You know, I’ve always been like this to be honest with you. Yes, she was my best friend at the time and yes, I had a best friends (females) in school but I’d much rather hang aroung a bunch of guys over a bunch of women ANYDAY!! (ANYDAY!)
So yeah, I totally understand where you’re coming from and I’m sorry you had to deal with it!
Anita on Sun, 22nd Jul 2007 4:24 pm
Wow! Should I have made my own post? That’s some long reply, lmao!!
queen of all on Mon, 23rd Jul 2007 3:05 am
No, you are good. I have tons of space on here. Feel free to vent freely sweetie.
I know you don’t have a private blog. You can hide on mine.
Anita, this is one thing I am learning too. I married my BF. Therefore, i want to do everything with him. This gets in the way of doing things with girls. There just has to be some women around here that want to hang with their guys, but want another Mommy to bounce thoughts off of.
I’ll keep searching. Maybe I should set up a personal ad on eharmony? LMAO
Anita on Thu, 26th Jul 2007 5:23 pm
lmao! yeah, i SHOULD have a personal blog, shouldn’t i? like i have the time for that … guess yours will have to do for now.
okay, you just need to move here on this side of the country! we are so much alike it ain’t funny! that’s exactly how i am. it is so weird for me to make plans w/ other girls w/out hubby. it’s just that we do everything together.
sometimes it’s easier to find “couple friends” rather than your own girlfriend … kwim? that seems to have worked a little better for us. however, one of us ends up not caring for one of the other couple, lmao! although, we do have one couple friends that we both adore … we just can’t stand their kids! how horrible is that? don’t get me wrong … my kids are FAR from being angels … no where near. but sometimes i think their kids are closer to the other end!! i’m sorry but they’re just horrible kids and i hate when they come to our house! they trash the place … and it’s gotten to the point that I have to correct their kids! otherwise, my house would be in worse shape than what happens now!
okay … back to work!
queen of all on Fri, 27th Jul 2007 12:02 am
We’ve had plenty of bad kids around. I correct kids at the grocery store, let alone at my house. lol My supposed BF’s kids are like this.
Yes, couple friends would be great if we could like both of them. That is difficult too. But we are getting better. Some of the wives from his work have been cool. Haven’t hung out with them a ton yet, but at least there is hope.
Anita on Sat, 28th Jul 2007 1:26 am
yup, you just have to keep trying … but it will happen, i know it will
Nicole on Sun, 5th Aug 2007 9:01 am
I am so glad to hear I am not the only one that goes through this too. I swear people who I thought were my friends forever( especially the ones I go to know in Italy). We spent 4 years together celebrating birthdays, holidays, sad moments, etc… and now with us all moved away ( military families) we haven’t chatted in Months to some in years. I even got Vonage this year to say HI, drop me a line you all can see I am alive and such and no such luck. Just breaks my heart. I will be your friend.. lets go on a TRIP!!